Hong Kong Mama’s Silent Lift Anger

OK Hong Kong Mamas, I’m going to take a confident position here and assume we’ve all experienced what I like to call ‘Silent Lift Anger‘. Please entertain me as I explain:

I’ve lived in Hong Kong for over two years before experiencing Silent Lift Anger (yes, my fellow Americans – it’s elevator…but when in Rome). Once you have a baby, and in my case two, everything changes!

My first experience with SLA was with my husband and newborn baby in the MTR at Hong Kong Station. I didn’t realize at the time that this would become a regular occurrence.

I was discharged from Queen Mary Hospital on Friday night. Yet, I was requested – well actually firmly instructed to visit the hospital the NEXT morning after discharge, which I thought was completely bizarre! Saturday morning we go to the hospital and they instruct us to return yet again on Monday morning. So now it’s Monday, and Mama is exhausted! We decide to skip yet another $600 Uber ride and take the train from Lantau to Queen Mary. As we exit the train and make our way to the lift we notice people (able-bodied people) rushing to the lift. We make it in time with our stroller (buggy) to stand behind 3 adults. Behind us is a little old lady in a wheel chair with her relative or caretaker. My husband passively makes a comment about lift priority which goes either completely ignored or, they didn’t hear him or, don’t speak English. We push ourselves onto the lift and proceed to make our way to the Central MTR to transfer trains. This is where it gets quite annoying, the Central lift is TINY and only so many of us can fit, let alone with a stroller. Again, able-bodies push through to make it in front of us on the lift.

Here enters my Silent Lift Anger!

Inside, I’m furious, frustrated, annoyed….can’t they see we have a baby? Don’t they understand the lifts should be for people like us and wheelchairs? Why can’t they just take the escalators? Shouldn’t they at least offer for us to go first considering the signage painted at their feet tells them so?

I’m not bold enough to call out strangers. I also sometimes struggle with impostor syndrome since, well, I’m a foreigner in this country. Still, I want them to follow my cultural etiquette when it comes to lifts! That’s a bit arrogant of me right? I mean, I’m in Hong Kong and this is obviously what seems to be the norm here. When I look around, everyone else seems to just accept it. So, I just scream and yell on the inside…Silent Lift Anger!

This has now gone on for over 8 months. When you have a stroller in Hong Kong – these experiences happen weekly! I’ve had so many moments of Silent Lift Anger – to the point where I’m walking out of the lift and having full conversations in my head of what I wanted to say, witty things I should have said and dirty looks that are universal. I’m sure people passing me on the street thought I was a sleep deprived psycho mom with my crazy facial expressions and my mouth murmuring slowly with no words exiting!

A few times I found myself bold enough to say, “the escalators are working!!“. Usually, this boldness is proceeded by a play-date or lunch-date with other Mamas and they embolden me with that wonderful Mama Power that comes after a simple coffee and teething chat. It’s amazing how a little time with other Mamas makes us feel empowered (or, like a failure depending on the group…but that’s another blog post, eek).

My Silent Lift Anger now lasts a good 30 seconds or so. I’m over it quite quickly because I know what to expect. I have to plan to leave earlier, avoid rush hour, get on the train car directly across from the lift if possible, push my way past people – don’t make eye contact (or do, depending on the situation), and simply adjust to lift etiquette that exists. I make sure to say thank you and extend a warm appreciative smile to the people who do show great kindness and consideration.

So Mamas, when you’re experiencing your Silent Lift Anger, just know you’re not alone! And eventually, you won’t need the lift at all!


Mallori, known as Mal, is the creator of 852 Mamas. Originally from California, Mal has lived in Hong Kong for close to 3 years. Mal and her husband of 10 years, David have two beautiful boys: Levi, born 2011 in Abu Dhabi and Malachi born 2017 in Hong Kong.

You can follow Mal on Instagram and her personal blog (which she will eventually resurrect) Brown Mom Abroad.


Are you a Hong Kong Mama and interested in blogging with us? Connect here!

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Where’s My Snapback?

The term snapback is defined simply as: returning to your pre-baby body or pre-baby weight.  The significance of a snapback is the lightening speed at which it happens for some women. At 1, 3 or 6 month post-partum many Mamas are 100% back to their pre-baby body!

OK Mamas, is it just me or is the pressure to snapback at an all time high? We also live in the age of the internet MACHINE which is both amazing and creepy at the same time. I’m “coincidentally” bombarded with adverts and offers regarding my post-partum body on Instagram, Facebook, Google – you name it. The adverts are catered directly to me and depending on the day, can really cause some mental and emotional stress to a sleep deprived Mama of 2 boys!

When I’m cluster feeding one baby boy and simultaneously attempting to help my older son prepare for a spelling test – the last thing I want to see as I spell check a word in google (in this particular situation, seeing the word ‘tomorrow’ 19 times you have absolutely no idea if you’re making up the spelling or if tomorrow is even a word), the last thing I want to see as an advert is how to turn my mama belly into tight abs! 

 

I’ve also seen my fair share of  side-by-side images of women showing their pregnancy and post-pregnancy bodies, dates included. It’s quite impressive. Especially because I was NOT thinking about a full body photo at 4 days post-partum. Let me add here, I’m not a hater (usually) these Mamas look amazing and I’m (usually) inspired when I see these pictures. But to be honest, I am left looking down and examining my body afterwards because….well, I still don’t recognize it!

Let’s take a moment and discuss the different types of snapbacks, shall we?

The Natural Snapback: You wanna thank your Mama for a snap like that! (Read that again but rap it Salt’s verse from Salt N’ Pepa’s Shoop). Mothers who simply have “it” in their genes, they can sneeze day 2 post-partum and the SNAP happens instantaneously!

The Passive Snapback: These mamas are the ones that can do absolutely nothing major, a plank here, a salad there and in two months BAM…They’re snapped!

The Breastfeeding Snapback: I really thought I’d be her! The Mama who just breastfeeds. We know, we know, we know that breastfeeding burns calories. These Mamas simply breastfeed (like many of us) but for them, the natural side-effect of breastfeeding is the SNAP!

The Food & Fitness Snapback: I respect these women and would love an ounce of their discipline. So, these are the ladies who have a plan and stick to their plan no matter what. They know the SNAP will only come if they work for it, and work for it they do!

Okay okay, to be honest, I’m likely – well I mean…I’m not working for my snapback as hard as many other Mamas. At the same time, I’ve been quite hard on myself and overly compared my body to other Mamas. What’s crazy about that is I would never negatively compare my baby to other babies or my 6 year-old to other kids. They are beautifully unique and lovely little individuals. So, I’ve been working on taking that same gentle love for them and directing it towards the way I see and love myself!

This is entirely a completely different blog post for another day, but I have to constantly remind myself how amazing my body is! It’s carried, nurtured, protected and birthed two beautiful and healthy babies. My body is a blessing and I need to look upon it and think about it with a lot more kindness!

A snapback for me does not come naturally, passively, or from breastfeeding. I’ll have to work hard for it if I want it. The question then becomes do I really want?

What I’ve realized on this journey called Motherhood is…we need to love ourselves more as Mamas and do what’s best for us as individuals! Let’s refocus our snapback to simply loving ourselves a bit more and doing things that we enjoy. Mamas, after babies our lives are usurped by a tiny human and it never stops, it just consistently changes. So for us, it’s not often we have free time to do things that we (as Mal, not Mom) want to do.

So I repeat, do what’s best for you! If you enjoy a spin class, take that class! If it’s a quiet corner in a cafe with a book, tell us where you found a quiet cafe in Hong Kong! If it’s a daily nap, Mama take that nap! If it’s a post-natal Pilates class, have fun at that class!

I’m worrying less about my snapback and focusing more on loving myself. I hope you do the same!

 


 

 

Mallori, known as Mal, is the creator of 852 Mamas. Originally from California, Mal has lived in Hong Kong for close to 3 years. Mal and her husband of 10 years, David have two beautiful boys: Levi, born 2011 in Abu Dhabi and Malachi born 2017 in Hong Kong.

You can follow Mal on Instagram and her personal blog (which she will eventually resurrect) Brown Mom Abroad.

 

 

iStyle HK

Mompreneur: Karishma

Business: iStyle HK

Karishma moved from Manila to Hong Kong after getting married in 2016. She is Indian born & raised in the Philippines. She has an eight year old son, Shaye and a three year old daughter, Seher. Karishma loves spending time and doing activities with her children. Karishma does her best to balance being a Mother and Entrepreneur, finding the right balance can be challenging at times.

In 2009 a couple of friends approached Karishma to design their homes. From there her clientele grew by word-of-mouth referrals. Karishma also spent some time designing footwear for women. Upon moving from Manila, Karishma’s own home became her portfolio and she spent time getting accustomed to Hong Kong. Karishma imbibed the constructive knowledge of designing, organizing her work, and separating and creating boundaries between her personal, family and professional relationships. Since starting iStyle,  Karishma is constantly researching and sourcing new ideas through various social networking platforms. She feels it is great to share her work and learn from new people. Karishma’s philosophy simply is “what you can imagine you can create”. She encourages others to “try not to limit your thoughts and go for something new each time”.

Follow Karishma’s iStyle on Instagram and Facebook!

Anniegurumi

Mompreneur: Annie
Business: Anniegurumi


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Annie is a mum who crochets toys and other things as a side business. Anniegurumi is a play on words – amigurumi is the Japanese art of making crocheted dolls. So Annie adapted the word to fit her name as she is the creator of her crocheted dolls!

Annie makes dolls as well as patterns for people to buy and make the designs themselves. She mainly runs Anniegurimi so she can be a stay-at-home mother for her son. Annie started crocheting to make gifts for friends and then their friends asked and so on. Her husband and friends encouraged her to open a shop so others can purchase her creations. Annie opened an Etsy shop and participated in Handmade Hong Kong as well as Etsy Made Local in Hong Kong.

Annie loves what she does and finds crafting incredibly relaxing and helps with her anxiety. It has brought her a lot of happiness and she loves seeing people smile from seeing her dolls.

Follow Annie on Instagram!

Fiesta Time: Handmade Piñatas

Mompreneur: Monica

Business: Fiesta Time: Handmade Piñatas
Contact: Whatsapp +852 9423 4229 or  hkfiestatime@yahoo.com


Kashish, better known as Monica, is an active and busy mum of 2 little winks aged 6 and 3. Monica recently began making piñatas as a small home business for kids birthday parties.
Coming from Belize, a Central American country that has a huge Mexican influence, Monica found herself struggling to find a variety of different party themed piñatas. Year after year she would make her own piñatas for her kid’s parties and all their friends would have a blast. Then one day a family friend was keen on a particular soccer team piñata for their sons birthday. All the party stores carried basic football or soccer piñatas but none had the specific team they were looking for.  With a great big smile of assurance,  Monica promised them that she would manage to get it done, exactly the way he wanted! Thus her business grew from there.

With the aim to be creative and unique, Monica began customizing piñatas with special requests from parents or their children within the community. It’s been a joy for her to watch kids have fun as well as bring a sense of contentment to the parents organizing their little ones birthday.

Book your piñata today! Pricing starts at $220 depending on the shape and design. Monica has been kind enough to offer a special  discount to 852 Mama Members for the month of June! Please find the discount code at the bottom of your newsletter.